Oct17

Stay Out of the Kitchen

on October 17th, 2012 at 8:07 am
Posted In: Recipe, Sweet Food

That’s directed at me, not you.

Go ahead. Go in your kitchen. Cook up a storm!

I’m still working on being able to be in a kitchen without everything ending in a major fail.

You can learn how to masterfully ruin a recipe from me, but I always try and link you to recipes achieved by real cooks.

So if you want to know what’s supposed to happen try out this chocolate peanut butter bar recipe.

Now for what happened to me.

Things started out well as I gathered my ingredients.

Okay, so far so good.

Then I added the honey, peanut butter and coconut oil to my pan.

It’s time for some melting.

Except…my peanut butter refused to melt. Whatsoever. I actually burned the entire thing as I kept waiting for my peanut butter to melt.

I opened up the peanut butter jar again only to realize how dry and crumbly it was.

Peanut butter should never be dry and crumbly. What in the world?

I ended up throwing it away and wondering what I was supposed to do without any peanut butter. You can’t exactly make chocolate peanut butter bars with no nut butters. I didn’t even have sunflower seed butter in the house.

Then I remembered I did actually have some chocolate peanut butter in the fridge.

Yes!

Now we were back to cooking. This melted together very nicely and much quicker than I anticipated.

This is what it was supposed to look like; I did something right!

I had forgotten to leave the honey out since I was now using a sweetened peanut butter so I “improvised.” I keep forgetting I’m no good at that.

I decided it would make sense to leave out half of the chocolate chips. Surely they were just there for sweetness and wouldn’t be that necessary. Right?

So I dumped the oats and only half of the necessary chocolate chips into the pan and stirred until they melted.

It seemed really liquidy to me as I poured it into a container. I actually used one that comes with an insert that is supposed to keep berries fresher longer.

I wasn’t sure how they’d turn out so I cut the recipe down quite a bit. If you are feeding more than two people you might want to make more.

The recipe says to let it harden in a refrigerator for an hour.

We all know I’m entirely too impatient for that, so I threw it in the freezer.

I’m not sure if that’s why they melted immediately as I tried to eat one… All I know is that I won’t be eating these again without a napkin very close by.

You’ll notice they look very oaty. That’s because they were.

Very oaty. What do you mean oaty isn’t a word?

What I’ll try next time:

1. Make sure that my peanut butter hasn’t gone bad.
2. Leave out honey and just use sweetened peanut butter.
3. Don’t think I know how to improvise and add ALL of the chocolate chips.

Because if I know anything, I know that ruining the whole darn thing never stops me from trying again.

And again. Until it’s right.

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Oct15

Don’t Give Kids Away

on October 15th, 2012 at 8:39 am
Posted In: Kids, Random Thoughts, Weekend Fun

Subtitle:

Even as a joke. But more on that later.

What a weekend!

I learned that’s it not okay to make a joke with a tired kid. I also found out that the third season of Glee is finally streaming on Netflix so I can watch it back when it was still good while I spend an entire day in bed with extreme pain.

I did learn that Mara will make a great employee. She was so excited to learn about how to run a bookstore. She greeted every customer that came in and bagged up books.

Grandpa Paul teaches me...

until he starts talking about fishing...

Well, at least Saturday was relatively pain-free. We met Tawnya and family at my mom’s bookstore to see Mason and Reagan on their birthday.

Reagan was super excited to show off her birthday dress. The only problem is that it does not allow a name-tag to stay on.

The kids wear name-tags at church, but it’s difficult when the clothing doesn’t allow it.

I'm entirely too busy reading to show you my dress.

Aubrey and I volunteered in the in the three- to five-year-old classroom and now those crazy tots are old enough to be in our class. We wondered if they would actually listen to us, what with Uncle Aubrey and Auntie Amber being the teachers, but they did really well.

Reagan especially loved doing worship and crafts.

Mason was all into the blocks and cars.

Toys are where it's at.

Then I made an enemy in Mara. Whoops.

I hate you. I will read this book. But not talk to you.

Whenever the kids ask me where something is I joke that I ate it or gave it away. This doesn’t usually ilicit more than a rolled eye, an exasperated “Auntie Amber!!!” and a giggle. However, apparently this joke is not okay when the missing thing is one of their siblings.

Riley : “Where’s Mason?”

By the way, you haven't talked about me in this blog yet.

I need attention!

Me : “Oh, you know I gave him away. This woman said he was cute so I said she could keep him.”

Reagan : “Oh, there’s Mason! Hi Mason!”

Mara glares at me.

Amber : “What? You know I would never do that. I always make that joke and you just roll your eyes at me and giggle!”

Mara : “I just don’t like it when people are silly unless it’s me. And being silly isn’t okay when the person is making mean jokes.”

Wow. It's awkward. For YOU....

I apologized and she told me that she was just really tired. She’s my best buddy again.

I think…

Although I don’t think she’ll be singing “Auntie Amber is my bestest aunt” again any time soon.

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Oct12

Double the Trouble

on October 12th, 2012 at 8:05 am
Posted In: Birthdays, Kids

You two came earlier than anticipated.

And yet you had me from the moment I saw you.

Although it worried me to see you both so vulnerable.

You chose to make your debuts in the world right in the middle of the swine flu scare.

We had to wear super fancy outfits to see you and to see your mommy.

For a long time your mom wasn’t even allowed to see you because of the scare.

We were able to see her and we were able to see you, but you three wouldn’t get to meet until later.

And then came long nights and longer days.

Uncle Aubrey and I pitched in when we could, but even then we all could have used more sleep.

It feels like an entire lifetime ago. Now you are two of the most rambunctious, loving children I’ve ever met. My house goes from clean to trashed the second you walk through the door. But it’s always worth it as soon as I see you smile.

You both turn three tomorrow and I can’t believe how quickly the time has flown by.

I love seeing your personalities grow and develop.

And I can’t wait to make many more happy memories with you.

Happy (early) Birthday Reagan and Mason!

You two mean the world to your Uncle Aubrey and Auntie Amber.

Even if you can’t sit still for even two seconds for a picture now. :)

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Oct10

Stolen Seat Saga

on October 10th, 2012 at 8:56 am
Posted In: Random Thoughts, Weekend Fun

The title of this blog seems intense.

But I’ll be honest. It wasn’t really that big of a deal.

On Saturday I went to see Kathy Griffin be her hilarious self with the awesome Tawnya as my date. You know, the girl who puts up with my absolute insanity.

We arrived about a half hour early and I went to a cart that had wine and beer. Not my ideal drinks, but I take what I can get.

The guy poured me what I would consider a bit more than a shot of wine and then he walked away. There was a pretty full tip jar that I assumed was there for payment so I threw a buck in. Also, I could have sworn he said the wine was complimentary. I walked away and went to find a bathroom.

So color me surprised when he chased me down and said “I think you forgot to pay” with a knowing smile.

Umm ok! Sure. I walked back and asked how much my thimble of wine cost while thinking that he should have mentioned that at the very beginning of the transaction.

$7.50. Seven dollars and fifty cents for a teaspoon of wine.

You see, it looked smaller and smaller the more I thought about it.

It wasn’t until I turned around after being glared at by the other people in line that I realized there was a full bar in another section.

A full bar with real drinks that were probably expensive, but definitely more worth it.

someecards.com - You make me want to be a better alcoholic.

Whatever. I found Tawnya and the bathroom and then we were off to find our seats. I was told that I wasn’t allowed to bring in the drink that cost me an arm and a leg.

Sure, fine. I drank the last two drops and threw it away. I then noticed that the different doors were numbered, but the actual sections were lettered. Is lettered a word? Let’s just move on to the seats.

The other theaters I’ve been to have started with low numbers on the aisles and gone up as you move further in. After we forced almost an entire row to stand up I realized that the numbers were actually getting smaller. Whoops!

So we left and realized we weren’t even in the right section. We hopped over to the correct section and found our seats. I bought the tickets in May so I couldn’t quite remember where I had chosen to sit. Second row, center? Good pick Amber!

someecards.com - I'm happy to participate in any ovation that allows me to remain seated.


Two of the people that we had made stand up from the other section came over and said that the usher had come up to them. The husband said that they were actually supposed to be in our section, while his wife studied the floor. He noticed we both had seats 13 & 14 and said we had been right all along with the other section.

I didn’t think anything about it for awhile. Then it occurred to me why the wife was staring at the ground the whole time he was conning us out of our better seats.

By the time my brain started working and I realized what had happened, it was too late. We weren’t in horrible seats, either way. Bring on Kathy!

Hopefully he enjoyed the show that he was probably dragged to in the first place. Because Kathy killed it! Much better than when Daniel Tosh came to town and Aubrey and I discovered that sometimes the warm-up comedian is twice as good as the person you paid to see in the first place.

In the end, it was a fun night.

And next time I’m putting up a bigger fight for my seat.

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Oct08

Time Flies in October

on October 8th, 2012 at 7:16 am
Posted In: Anniversary, Birthdays, Holidays

I love October.

10 years ago today I met a pretty awesome guy.

6 years ago today I married that man.

I have already gone on and on about my love of Aubrey in this post so I won’t bore you with all of those details again.

But he has made my life so much better and I love him for all that he is and all that he does.

October is also an awesome month because the Portland Nursery apple tasting is coming up. I can’t wait to stock up on my favorite varieties again.

But you know what’s more fun than that? I happen to know a couple of rugrats that are turning three on Saturday.

It’s crazy how fast time flies.

Before I know it Halloween will be upon me yet again. I don’t usually dress up for it, but I have decided to do something this year since we’re going to a party. I tried to convince Aubrey he could just wear a shirt with a big T on it. But he always groans when I’m “punny.”

Besides we save the real dressing up for birthdays. I have worn my wedding day tiara to work on my birthday before. And then there was the year Aubrey and I dressed up in 20′s outfits to celebrate him turning 30.

Goodbye 20′s! Wait, let’s not talk about that since I’ll be turning 30 next year…

Time really does fly by quickly.

Let’s just stick to October for now.

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