Hello! The world has not yet ended…so I have a blog for you instead!
I realized that in my last post about party rocking I didn’t actually talk about what I’ve been doing to be able to go out into the world without having a panic attack.
Short answer…I haven’t been trying to end the panic attacks, whatsoever.
Long answer…well here we go.
1. I have started reaching out to those around me.
Okay, to be honest. I’ve been trying to reach out to those around me more.
While I do want to create deep friendships and relationships with those around me, it’s hard for me to let go of wanting that “perfect” relationship.
I have to realize that I’m not going to be as close with anyone as I am with Tawnya.
Yes, it’s extremely awesome to be able to be 100% myself if front of someone. It’s so nice to not have to censor myself or worry that she will take something I say in the wrong way.
I’m constantly worrying that I’m not coming off how I meant to.
So I’m still working on this one.
2. Aubrey and I joined a small group for married couples at church.
This was a huge deal for both of us. We are not social creatures.
In fact, I’m pretty darn sure he would be 100% okay with being home with me every single night without ever venturing outside.
And that can be really fun, especially if we are watching a TV-show marathon on Netflix.
But sometimes it’s good to step outside of ourselves and realize there are some nice people out there.
It’s good to get to know all different kinds of people and to improve upon our marriage at the same time.
3. I have become a line dancing fool.
I was actually thinking about this the other day and I realized something. I’m not actually that social when we go out dancing.
Sure, I talk with quite a few people at the bar because we go fairly often and pretty much all of the other regulars are super nice. But my favorite part is being able to leave any awkward conversation quite easily by saying “Hey, we know this dance!” and rushing onto the dance floor.
Then for the couples dances Aubrey and I get to chat about what happened when I was dancing and he was looking up random things on his phone.
We actually have a lot of funny conversations during those nights.
4. I am being more pushy when it comes to my health.
Considering I’ve had pretty much the same health problems since 2008, I know I’m glad that I’m at least starting to get some actual answers.
I just had to come to terms with the fact that my primary care doctor doesn’t know everything. Technically, I already knew this, but it felt really weird to go around her and seek out other people.
But, I never would have found the proper dosage for my hypothyroidism without my endocrinologist. I also would have never found out about my brain cyst and my brain tumor without her.
And the naturopath? She’s helping me deal with all of this without throwing a ton of medicine at me.
5. I feel like I should include another point, but I can’t think of one.
Sometimes I think it just takes getting older to grow.
I will be 30 next year and I’d like to think that I could have at least a couple of things in my life in order by then.
I won’t hold my breath, but I will keep trying.
Because if you stop trying, you stop growing.
And that’s simply not acceptable to me.